When Dreams Prevail,

Thursday, July 31, 2008

last day of the month...

31st July 2008

last day of the month...

finally reach the end of the month.
the project is finally ending
with only 30% more to go
today had the help of the banquet ppl as well as qi and lyn
5 more excel sheets left...

gonna miss everyone once the project ends
the fun we all have together
loling and joking with each other
hah today kept teasing qi about her and her bf "anata" and "dana-sama"
haha nice to see a loving couple finally blooming flowers of affection

haha for me it's back to the seeds of desire
nah i donno if i can trust myself for wat i think anymore
i cant even differential between real love and friends
i guess the desire to be loved as well as someone
i truly can share my thoughts with is hard
liking someone which bares no return for it is something kinda silly haha...

wat?!
cos i didnt touch her heart?
hmmm how could i when there is so much unknown factors roaming around?
a devil beside the human
and a world of spikes and thorns
even my wings woud get all torn up by them
i can only just be myself
and be a loner haha...

4 years ago...
was it oct or was it sept?
i lost my heart for someone.
someone i have been with for quite a while
someone who i have always cared for ,with every soul in my heart.
but it's also that that have cause me to become somehow lost like now..
holding too tightly and end up killing myself with the tight rope of fear

for now i guess i wanna achieve a dream i have longed for
to be able to cosplay even for once or many times if i can
unlike many who relised it not too long ago
i have had this dream since i was in my teens.
yea i mean i were they age as well
with my dreams of becoming the anime char which i like

haha as i was talking to nori last nite
i remind myself something again
why wasnt i born as a gal?
i have every aspect of a gal,
gal's heart,actions and affection and emotions
but yet i am standing here in a guys body.
nah i wont go be a ah guah or transexual
i accept wat i am
so i can only see the female side of me when i have ppl acting for me
may i be cosplaying or posing.

alexis...? nad i guess it's a wrong name for me too tomboyish
alexander is my name.
alexandra is my femine side sister's name.
we are both sister and brother living in the same body.
2 different souls living in harmony
that's one reason why i kep hugging my self...
dear sister pls rest well...
alexander would care for alexandra always....

alexander the great <3<3 alexandra the beloved

7:54 PM