When Dreams Prevail,

Friday, January 27, 2012

zzz %&^%$^*(*&&(*^

sigh... cant even have a peaceful day at all.
come home after work still feeling stress out.
tml suppose to be a fun day .
yet some bugger had make the day turn sour.
giving all the cb comments

next year new year u organize ur own buffet , i am not gonna be involve in urs.

hmmm today i came across a touchy topic with a friend.
it's about the cross over of personal space and the limit of trust.
i still remember back then when one of my friend's started sharing out her account with someone she trusted for very long.
but she didnt know how an ass the other person turns out to be.
they were always joking with each other and having fun.
to a day when she had a nasty quarrel with this guy.

things started to run for the worst without her knowing it.
we didnt as well till later part of the time...
apparently he seems to have ran around trying to be slutty.
attracting unwanted attention and scamming ppl.
since the whole server started hating her.

unknown to us that she was actually away on a holiday,
we all started to stay away from her.
when she finally got on her acct.
she was heavily criticized upon for wat "she " has done.
weirdly and shock,she kinda broke down and cried,
as usual being a neutralist , we talked about it.

only to have found out the true story behind the recent situation.
she isnt the type of gal whose strong willed or hearted.
this came in a heavy blow,
|afterall the person who caused her this is non other then her so call bf.
apparently they got into a fight and she just cant stand how he is anymore.
so in return is a clean scoop to make her lost all her friends .

wow i mean how shiity can a person get?
but then again losing a identity when someone "possesses' u and start talking with ur phone/acct or wat so ever. can be really crazy.
she ,who did totally nothing loses all her friend's trust. just becos of that small issue.
so yea.if someone password to u.if u think u are up to it.respect watever info that person has.
Someone just entrusted u with something personal.
be sure u are able to do it.

9:59 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2012

the tides that goes high and low

sigh....
i am such a terrible lier...
sometimes i wish i can really be bad.
girls do like man being a badass dont they?
even in movies, they would show it that way..
haha...somehow i was wondering why i felt so high up the peak.
the heartbeat never stopped rushing since that nite.

but i knew i had to calm down at some point.
the rules of feelings is simple...
when u reach a very high point,u would experience a equal amount of low point somewhere.

hah... i am a failure in math,
yet i do my sine/cosine of life so much better then anything.
Having too much EQ is bad.
u think too much,care too much,longs too much.
and most of all u hold too much to let go of things.

when i decided to ask the break limit question ,
i told myself.wat if she would to say that?
can i really handle it?
back in the movie,i really wish to whisper in her ears again that i like her.
but i know,as a character of the same type.
it was not the time.
there are still too many things that needs to be cleared.
i only wish to open her chained lock ,reaching into the heart .the real little girl sitting inside that little corner of her heart.
wishing for someone to just wrap the arms around her and let her cry nonstop.

why wont i know..?
i am that little boy who sits at the little corner in my heart doing the same before as well.
the only thing is me having lost my keys to enter my house once again.
i can only peek through that window,looking at him now.
the key is somewhere nearby...

when will it be the day someone would return the keys to me.
or buying a new one sharing the keys together...

7:09 AM

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Holding a grenade...

i just held on a grenade.
and it blew off right on my face...
i feel as if i was a fish awaiting for a bait.
my heart beat was so fast.
that i hardly can control myself.
i tried to act as if the movie was the cause of all the excitment
but knowing how a idiot i was when it comes to hidding my feeling
i can never be able to hid those heart beat...

an ear near was so close to my heart.
hearing every single beat it was pumping...
it was rushing like mad...
the only time i felt this was back when i was with someone else.

it's easily known wat the feeling means....
and it was responded.or so i tot it was.
i was so happy i held her hand tight.
trying to keep her warm as much as i can.
but i hope i wasnt getting mistaken of being someone else.
just becos i know wat her ex did for her before...

i know i am different.
i can never replace someone with ease.
haha... well why one think i had suffered for the years of my life cos of one relationship?
it is not easy for one to forget someone who u have love all this time...
no wonder i was feeling all uneasy the whole day...
i know something is happening.
it has always been my intuition to feel for bad or good things.
i finally gave my bidding of good bye not too long ago.
another story in my life has ended.
someone this sweet and longing for love isnt worth for anyone to be tarnished...
bless her soul with happiness.
lost the way to shed tears 10 years ago.
so i can only leave my feelings here for the future me to read again.
remember chak.5 years of crying is enough.
there will be a day when ur secret book of dreams be share with another sensitive person who looks for a fantasy love..
though it hurts a little but i know how ppl feel way too much for me not to ignore it.
sorry Alex...i failed my promise again.
u know told me before that m kindness is the fall of me.
but i can never be nasty.
i have tried... but it doesnt work well with my heart.
i will continue to be who i am ,wat i am,and who i will be.
till the day i can change the world or death befalls on me...

どのような奇妙な感じ私は今感じています...
それはまだ、同時に平滑苦痛だ...
たぶん私があまりに何度も傷つけるれているため。
それは無感覚になっている..
神様...私を保存してください...

9:10 PM

Friday, January 20, 2012

Cooking up a emotional chili crab...

wow... so long since i last update my blog again.
well... here i am again..
walking back here in my little sanctuary
and sitting down in the corner...

haha... every time when i have troubles or heart issues..
i end up coming here and pouring all my feelings out.
well at least i wont bother anyone here

well i just need a place for me to recall my thoughts as well as to just put my feelings here for now.

sigh...yea recently i have met a crab whose shell is as hard as mine...
so much things that i didnt know i was able to relate back to myself.
cancerians are romancers
we long for dreamy love .a fantasy that we can put our excitement and feeling to the extreme.

i have never thought that a day where i would find someone similar that actually exist.
yes i like doing sweet things,make ppl laugh with my weird actions.
and make sure in the end everyone is happy.
it makes me happy seeing others are happy as well.

hmmmm but after today.
it makes me wonder ... i am giving others the feeling that i am a weirdo?
liking the all different reason.
doing things out of the norm.
haha it's just like that day when i was at chester's house playing kinect.
while everyone wanna win.
i just wanna make a fool of myself and look at the laughters on everyone's face.
but of cos i ended up being the last LOL!

but here i am feeling a rush of feelings.
the past that had happened.
looking back i wish i had met someone who actually longs for feelings like these.
that kinda reminds me of my sec school days where i actually wrote poems,drew cute pictures and leaving secret poems under the table of the person i like.

sadly i was laughed upon...
sigh...
lol :/

after so many years of being alone.
i have put up a mask of smiling in front of everyone.
while keeping all the woes to myself.
can never seems to share out the feelings deep inside.
haha reminds me of ace attorney psyche locks ><

for some reason i feel so comfortable talking about it.
as well as hearing hers .
for a crab to be able to soften their shell for someone.
it's not easy.
i know it's is a hard path to walk.
but i am prepared for all the bumps that i will encounter.
only time will tell...

argh i am still feeling a bit heavy inside...
need to clear my mind for now and concentrate on my work for now ><

3:15 PM