When Dreams Prevail,

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The promise day

a promise has been dragging on one day after another
yes i am referring to removing of eso
about 2 weeks ago or even a month ago i was planning to remove eso from my com
but 1 day after another i held on the hope that someone who i game my promise to
would do it before me
one after another my friends left
but i see no reason of wat i was hoping for
my existance towards in is really kinda insignificiant at all
why would i hold on to the only knot that tied me down between me and that devilish game?

one after another i cut the knot from them and tying them back from msn and email
knowing that is the best way to really quit the addiction from that game
the only way one was to quit is from drama or strong perseverance
the hardest way is to bond urself with friends u know inside
that is always the reason for not being able to quit

but today even i ,myself got sick of this waiting
as much as i can see i will predict that there wouldnt be a quitting even after the promised day
so i am gonna be a savor of myself and remove wat has cause and know as a bad habit
as much as i feel t he pain to leave her
i dont see the point of wasting myself over something that wont happen
knowing true happiness is to know when to let go
when u go head on with something that isnt worth and wont go anywhere at all
u will earn urself nothing but a empty hollowness within
there are more ppl i wanna meet
many things i wanna do
different places i wanna visit
i wont get tied down anymore

in the end i posted this quote i have put in my msn

anata no yakusoku wo hata suno darou ka?
ware ware wo sanshou shite shinakereba nara nai

i am the last person to laugh at myself and at the foolishness for all this
but in the end i learnt another valuable lesson that wasnt taught from my family
but a experience on my own.
i wish i have gain these experience earlier...
sigh o well that's my life i guess

12:06 AM

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

sleeping time screw up ...

arg donno why but these days i just cant seems to slp early anymore
i use to restrict myself to slp latest 3am
but it seems now i can get to slp without the clock hitting 5am =\
and it kinda kills me in the morning x.x
gotta tune up my internal clock again ><

just a few days more till the cosplay summit would be up and hosted in west coast plaza.
i wonder why did they suddenly choose to host in such a discreed place
considering that it's a big event
wont they have a higher chance of getting central areas or even carrefour convention halls?
lol i wonder how in the world did WCP get the power to win a chance for a event to be held there xD
anyway i hope it's not a flop lol

2:02 AM

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Movie review : Alice in wonderland

many might wonder wat's the point of watching a childhood story based movie
well here's a big boom boom for u
the story isnt about the little alice anymore
it's about a teenage version of alice
having her problems in being herself
wonderland has once again open up her wonders
in the ability of believing that there is nothing impossible in life

the story moves from her being in the real world having to face all the ppl
that wanted to make decision for everything she needs to do or be
becos of that she slowly didnt believe in herself
the once child "alice" of her
as she jouney back into the wonderland
she slowly gains her believe that
wondering isnt just a dream
but a re-live of her past memories

the movie consist of many inspiring quotes
that gives motivation to anyone who feel lost and indecisive
a must watch comedy with lost of brave and sad moments to set ur motion going

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
having watched alice in wonderland
it made me think so much as well
having to be controlled and do watever ppl say
not beliving in myself
there was a part where the blue catapillar said that was quite an eye opener

"i said u arent quite alice..but now u are close to being alice..
wat holds to be the true alice is wat are gonna do next"

it wasnt quite wat blue catepillar said but somewhere there
well when alice first came back
she didnt believe she was able to slay the dragon "Jabberwocky"
to do wat u think u cant
do wat a crazy thinking
everyday wake up and think of 6 impossible things that can actually happen..
and if they are able to happen
why wont u have the courage to do watever u think u cant?

i would watch that show in 3D again if i can find my contacts or get a new one
a inspiring show like that is worth watching again

11:32 PM

Saturday, March 13, 2010

grrrr ABCDXYZ!!!!

zzz if there is a alphabet way of expressing how piss i am now
i would certainly score 100/100 for it >.>
time after time all the argument involve around that freaking eso and emo
>.> i am starting to feel as if i am a puppet

zzz wat's with the commotion
i can understand achieving certain goals
that was why i hope to help
but one after another new goals kept arising
that was not wat i was planning -.-

i planned to help achieve those goal as much as possible
then i will 100% quit the game damn so i can have a normal life again
all i can say is i know the path she took is gonna be almost like mine
not even bother to explain how the path is like arg -.-

now i seems to get blame over kinda everything
i think i really need to do some action to this
it's either eso go or i will go key siao
cos of eso i arent able to do my stuff,
cant do my work due to lag
cant access net
but no one understands it.
so screw that emo if he has like a god gifted com that can access multi client
the hell with it
i already manage to break all ties from eso so that i can quit
the last tie i left was my promise
i really dont wanna stay in eso any longer
not in a game that i have already know it serve the demon
zzz i shouldnt have inspire her to stay
same for some others
eso is a demonic game zzzz

11:26 PM

been coughing the whole day
really hate the feeling of sickness
makes me weak all over
had to stop my exercises these few days
someone i know is sick as well =\
but it seems she is always insisting on wat she wanna do ><

i wish i can somehow unplug her power for a day or 2
so that she can rest and stuff
it's hard for everyone to really keep up with the hectic persuit of that eso
i wondered myself
am i doing the right thing to really help her to keep achieving her goal?
not that i dont like to though

just that the more i helped
the more she insist on pushing herself more...
today i kinda helped her again
everything was fine and stuff
no death to her cave farmers
i just dont understand how her char just suddenly died
when emo checked lol
how coincidental can it be?
for the whole day nothing has happened
until he log on?
lol that's kinda funny though but blah wat can i say?
maybe it was really lucky bah
i log out then after a certain time they all died

lol not like i am trying to gain glory in that
i help for the sake of achieving her goal to quit
not becos the game isnt fun or that i am quitting
it just makes me feel pain seeing her staying up so late just for a game
and pushing herself to wake up in the middle of her slp just for a boss

i mean wow yes 5~10 min of raid.
but that's like a disruption for a sweet resting time...
maybe i am too concern about her RL then her VR
though i all i get back was."i told u i wanted to do it..."

am i bad to really care for her that way?
horoscope said that there are times i have to say no just to help someone...
but i am too soft hearted when it comes to doing something for someone who...beepbeep

i just logged out feeling a bit sad earlier
i donno if she feels sadden cos i wasnt doing wat she really wanted
lol i dont think i can blame my comp for being lousy i guess lol
not being able to log so many clients
and check + farm zzz
blah...the world is crumbling on my head and i am getting buns all over x.x

cosplay summit is in 20 days time
cosfest is in 3 months time
and i am not even getting ready for my photography mood
this is really bad
i am letting a game ruining my life zzzz
need to get my life back from eso
hobby>eso GO DIE ESO!zzz

2:12 AM

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

fallen sick...

recently the weather has been bad..
unknowingly i fell into the preying claws of the flu and fever
annoyingly that totally drained my energy from wanting to do anything
sigh even as i am typing now
my fingers feel numb and i feel as if my whole body is falling apart

i donno wat i am trying to believe now
recently i have pop myself a lot of whys
why cant i face my fears
why cant i just take the first step
and why cant i be as daring as i use to be?

maybe it's due to rejection as well as failure
i know i have a positive energy within me somewhere
it has never affected me this much before
"great intelligence really leads all reality endlessly and pitifully annoyingly involving nothing..."

sorry it's a random ranting
dont mind me
i just wish my sickness to go away soon
starting to get sick of everything now...

9:25 AM

Sunday, March 07, 2010

tired as it is...

sigh -.-
sometimes it's so hard for others to understand between having to have a life
and having to help someone
i wish i can just tell out how i feel at times.
typing communication is always so misunderstanding...
the thing about having to miss out info here and there
makes communication breakdown easier

i promised myself to break off from a game as there was too much drama involve
and i dont wanna associate with some ppl in that game
i mean it's not like everyone is bad
but the addiction when u are tied down from ppl u know
made the game harder to quit

and here i am still tied down by it
i mean of cos i love helping.
but i cant tell something in myself that
there are things becos of that game
i am actually ended up having more quarrels
well maybe i might be at fault too
but to fight over a game...
sigh...

recently i have began lurking around facebook more
since i cant do much
got addicted in a clicking game
it's almost like mmo
but without graphic
almost like having to imagine the world around u
with wat u read
missed out blogging so much again cos of the game too zzz

need to prioritize myself and get back on my feet
i hope i dont have to come to the last resort of having to stop my feelings
i dont wanna just involve myself between a game
and only talk about it and not other stuff...
that's not the feeling i hope to feel
how do i convey this over to the special someone?
maybe that was why i kept having miscommunication..
sigh...

and i know from her stage currently
she is going throught wat i am having now...
quitting is not gonna happen anytime till a drama happens...
but i dont wanna be offensive to tell her that><
the only reason why ppl quit one after another is mostly after drama happens
arg i regret coming to this game!!!
wasted 1 year of my life...

11:06 AM

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

love is being cruel,love is being selfish?

lol funny topic to start with isnt it
to love someone u have to be cruel at times
and to love someone u have to be selfish as well?
this is something most ppl will think about
in order for us to really help someone we like
we have to first learn to be cruel to them

no i dont mean beating the buns out of them
wat i meant is,if they really didnmt wanna do something
but they are force to do so
one would have to refrain them from doing unless it is something that cant be helped
giving up something u like or trying to pick up something u know that u dont like
is a way of sacrificing for the love of someone
but nevertheless,never ever over do it
know ones limit,when u over do it,
it's more like having no self dignity upon urself
and u are merely nothing but a puppet

and why do we say love is being selfish?
we give the best to the ones we love
followed by 2nd graded stuff to the ones we like
follow by the rest to those we adore/friends

balancing between loving someone and friends around is important
when u have nothing in the world but them alone
the world crumbles when the bond between both starts to break down
but being fake to urself is also a silly way of self denial
trying to make friend only to show that u have friends
are in no diff similiar to wat has mention above

be true to urself and be true to everyone else
and eventually everyone will be truthful to u
a trust is not brought from gifts
it's gain from time and trust

once bitten , twice shy
i have learn to love myself more
cos only if i love myself will i be able to love others around me
i still remember my motto
to make a smiling world
it's a hard motto to keep up
but i will never forget that promise i made
i will just keep trying in everywhere i can

and hope that i can gain more experience from everyone i meet
alias time is short
to everyone who was wishing for a time machine
we are a time machine ourselves
we continue to make a better future
but we cant change the past
so keep the past as a lesson to learn and change the future

may everyone be bless with the peace and serenity of a peaceful nite
Oyasumi nasai minna san
gambarimasu!

10:26 PM

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

a weird dream

finally the race is reaching near the finish line
did 4 ranch nonestop today in eso to help a friend achieve her goal
before i officially quit
back then i wasnt ready to fully quit as yet till the puppies send to us
yes the wedding pet happyhappy

originally,this pet was suppose to bring me much joy in having
as i longed to get this pet as it's cute
and someone had the same thought of it
but torn apart between a false reality,
many thing changed from that point on

wat was supposingly friendliness,
became a hell bonded hound released without a warning
while the ferocious lion
began to be tamed and closer

contradicting isnt it .
but yea that's life
as someone lit my candle and enlighten me with a fool's knowledge
was i the jerk that has caused a bleeding heart to turn black?
as i recall the past time while i was chatting
traces of clues led me to think that i am the one...

if u strip all my clothings and left me bare naked
u will see the truth and real me

tick tock tick tock
as the clock slowly reaching 3am
my tiring body draws me nearer to log off and slp

i guess regrets will not be tolerated anyway..
with only me and my little haven here
i would reside and quietly saying i am sorry till the day u forgive me...
wonder when will 1 sorry be ever heard.

things are for sure i wont let anything hinder my plans
the timer has started
past will be the past
the future is wat i am looking at now
gambarimasu Yu-chan

today i woke up to a weird dream
maybe i can somehow plot it into a story base on it

it all started from a school campus...
i shared a room with 2 gals
1 look kinda familiar
but i am not gonna say who
anyway the 3 of us are kinda likea mystery solving buddies
i recalled in the earlier part of the dream we solved a case of a robbery or something
and got to be famous from it
a few detectives were involve as well
a cool,quiet guy who spots flaws where no one did
the other is a rowdy active guy

during the 2nd case,
the case of a drug trafficking
this is a bit more exciting
we followed a suspect a hideout near a Egyptian like tomb
the inspectors are already on his tail as well
as he entered it
he frantically search for a bag containing the drugs
when he found it he was overjoyed
but it was short victory as we grubbed the bag and ran off
feeling furious that guy chased us

as we run up a platform it kinda shaked a little
but little do we know wat is install for us
these are small Egyptian traps laid down by the ancients
the floor begain to gave way
as the sand slowly flows down below
we continued running for our lifes
suddenly a inspector appeared and kicked that guy away
torn between having to chase us or being caught
he being to fight his way over the inspector
it last for a while when that guy lose his balance and fell down
he was cushioned by the sand
still that fall knocked him out
and eventually he was caught

lol strange dream isnt it
wasnt able to get all the details as it was kinda blurry
oh well so much for a dream that woke me up LOL!

9:50 AM

Monday, March 01, 2010

got tired...so tired...

starting to get tired of everything
from seeing good friends torn apart
to myself being in a drama
wat's with this damn game?
i am glad i am quitting soon
i was suppose to quit though lol
but i stayed on to fulfil someone's goal
once she is done i would just remove eso away from my system
she still has a pet to finish but i wonder if i can really last that long to help her with that
i have already started distancing myself from the ppl i know inside
no becos they are bad or anything
i just fear that i will be tied down by friendship inside again

that was the main reason why i stayed in eso for that long
i have never really played a game this long before except RO
moreover this game is a drama game to begin with
not that i didnt know or anything lol

kinda send a mail with somethings a friend needed
i didn't expect a reply of ty at all
after all we were both having cold war
despite it might mean nothing
but a small reply from someone who ignored u even when they saw u
is a bit heartwarming
but i donno how long will this cold war last
just wish it would just end it
cos i still miss the days where we actually chatted
miss the companionship that u gave me

i just want things to go back as it is
if only a time machine exist...
if only it does...

10:11 AM