When Dreams Prevail,

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

break...breaking...broke!! T^T

23rd July 2008

break...breaking...broke!! T^T

another boring daring at work haha.
i wonder why these days i kept waking up late -.-
hmmm wait it's not about me waking up late.
it about me going back to sleep again...
and i kept missing the wake up time >.< wat made it worst was the fact that i didnt bring my ezlink card out today...
almost feel like not going for work.
thank god ryan was pushing me to go xD if not i would just make a excuse not to ... kinda stupid that even if u have a card u cant use it to buy a ezlink card more over the mschines dont accept coins anymore. all i have is a freaking 2 dollar and loads of coins...
and guess wat.2.5o is the fare card and they only accept 2 and 5 dollar notes haha...
lucky for me there is a atm nearby...

while at work i cant help suddenly spacing out into my own world again. this very evil thought came into my mind as i think about some things in the past it's like should i torture the one who is costing me so much troubles? all sort of thoughts came in from trying to fake things here and there. but then again i went back to reality would i have the heart to do it? haiz...
i really hate the soft side of me. why must i care so much about how other feel and stuff...
i should really learn to be more evil ...
qi called by asking if anyone wanna meet out for dinner.
i am kinda broke for this month so yea no more outing for now till my next payroll T^T lol ryan even ask if wanna go for a dinner after dinner.
i do crave for a good shot of alcohalic drinks.
but yea no thanks till payroll's out x.X sorry ryan =\ and as i got bored i went over to one manga to read on manga again.

yea a lolicon manga called kodomo no jikan.
but seriously if it wasnt draw to have pure kiddy chars,
this manga would have been a typical lovey lovey manga

i quoted a very interesting love quote from it.

"If you want somebody to love you... You start by being kind to that person..."

i mean i have to agree,
love dont just blossom love at first side or stuff,
but it comes after times and times of trials with other X-factors
and i found out that it's not easy to let go ofa feeling when u hold it
for a very long time...
i tested myself with my own taste of test.
yea yea yea it comes after wat happens after work...

as i was planning and think about wat accessories i should get if i am going for
ice sensei's gothic party in haru 2
i suddenly remembered that
i dont have some ear accessories to go with my rings and metal stuffs

although i might look like a traditional type of person
but i often hid the little streetkid away from others.
well if it was back in the years before my work and ns i would have been sad
cant afford on stuff i wanna get.
i have always been a heavy metal accessory type of guy.

money is a big prob for me when it come to accessorizing myself.
now that i can afford and found sources of where i can get wat i wanted
this is my chance to be out of the normal me.
yea earrings.i dont really wanna pierce myself
so i am always on a look out for clip-ons
but it seems like these days not many ppl sell them
but i did manage to find tight clip on type of earring.
might need to get another 2 more maybe tml or later days when i am free?

anyway i went over to far east for a walk,
hoping to find wat i am looking for
sadly it was not wat i expect of that place =\
i did manage to get 1 ear clip to test but i think it's quite ok
so i am getting 2 more
wonder if i should put foundations on that day -.-"
cant believe i am doing these stuff lol
hair... i wish mine was as long as eric of the alchemist.
victorian ponytail which is blond white.
but not now not this year.have to clear the ns ICT first .
maybe i will start the planning of hair next year.

anyway wat amused me was the way i walked around the shopping center...
of all the places i walked 2 rounds nearby haru >.>
yea yea i know...
i understand that somehow i am following my inner self with the route
lol just in case whenever i think about coming back to my old blogging days again
i am gonna give a few details lmao
whenever i walked nearby haru,
i could somehow feel a impulse sending up my nerve
but of cos i didnt go far east just to follow that impulse.
but to get my accessory of cos.
but i guess i wanted to test how i would react,
so i took up my guts and went over
yea eve was there.

haha it was kinda funny how i started a somehow queer way of a pickup line
"Heya how's everything here~?"
lol it almost made me sound as if i am the shop owner -.-
but i didnt stay long.
i am not sure if she was walking out from inside hoping to chat as well.
but yea i kinda just signal to her about yukata stuff before quickly brushing off a good bye when she made her wayt out...

but why am i still feeling the pumping of my heart?
didnt i told her i will treat her like a sister?
...
wat a contradiction i am in.
i cant control these feelings yet i know there is a driving force that
wont let me stop.
i must have put in too much of my feeling into this..
i think other then my mother ,and my ex,she would be the only gal
that have heard my tears and sobbing...
wat a useless person i can be at times...
i just dont wanna give myself false hope again...
and end up losing a friend...
sigh...

o well
gotta put out a list of wat i need soon
got my 5/5 rings
got 1/3 earring
got 0/1 black strip necklace
got 1/1 metal wrist chain
got 0/1 set of punk (geez...)
got 0/1 long boots (sian ex sia)
got 0/1 red/black/blue cat eye contacts
got 0/1 cream white long hair (next year's matsuri? pending cream white dye)
got 0/1 foundation powder
(wonder wat would my mother say if i ask her to borrow me lol better buy myself -.-)
got 0/1 black eye liner (can borrow from mother =3)
got 0/1 punk wrist band (wonder if i wanna buy one since i am going metallic =\ )

zzz time to save money T^T

The tales of an angel part 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems as the river has a neverending route towards the forest.
the fallen angel walks with the song softly echoing around
as strangely as it seems
the song does not seems to only have the voice of his own.
a mix of a familiar yet surprisingly sad song
it sangs a story of hidden feelings
with a tint of confusion and a heartful of sadness
a longing for someone whom might carry the sun into the sky

the fallen angel sat by a tree near the river bank
as he hymn to the sad tune of a sing he often sang
he finally notice how familiar the voice was..
it was the voice of the little angel whom helped him

why would she be near the river?
it's a haven to be in
but arent the heaven a better place to be
a place he longed every single moment..

with this the fallen angel retraced his foot step
hoping to find the source of the song
and hope that he could do the little angel a favour
in retrun for her kindness in the past.

not knowingly,nearby this voice lurks the devil advocate as well
a song unknowingly being corrupted with more sadness and dispair
a pain of which have caused the little heart of the angel to sway
and reject wat she truly longs for..

and while the little angel troubles away with the thoughts
the fallen angel a striken momeries of a little memory
one of which he had tried to forget..
and one of which his main source of inspiration for his song...

10:22 PM