When Dreams Prevail,

Monday, June 27, 2011

Another story of a failure in the making...

Haha I really wonder if this is really my residing place where I can Talk my heart out...
Knowing that it's abandon
With no one who would come and read anything here at all
Well I won't call this my little haven would I haha...

Sigh...
Actually it does seems weird...
Typing this 5 am in the morning
With everyone sleeping while I am here Emo-ing :(
Well I won't exactly say I am Emo-ing
I have gotten far worst situations then this
But everytime stupid proba resurfaces
not becos I have some real difficulty
But some lame shit that deals with the heart...

Even after being so careful this time
I still fail to notice that an untouchable has appeared...
6 month and all I slowly tried to find out about her
And making sure that it wasn't another taboo...
And that nothing will even be surface around ppl I know...
In the end not only was it someone I knew
But someone close as well...

I have never expected him to be actually chasing her ...
Afterall watever he did is just so uniquely him.
That is wat he would do to anyone he met.
Whether the far past, past,recently or even up till now...
It's was so totally same?

I guess wat I accidentally found out was only recently
Where he was msging her on the hotel thing.
Where something's were totally unheard-of
At first I still wasnt too sure if it's just mere chatting and stuff
Well I am pretty quiet at times
The fact that I treat ppl whose friends and those whom I am interested in kinda a weirdly inverse way.
By natures I should have treated friends in a less close and openly jokeful way
And treat those whom one would consider liking vice versa
But instead i would end up that way.
It's really stupid cos not many ppl can understand this part if me
That's why I cant go around consulting ppl about my probs

The only diff is that things are done with more then 100%
of my effort .
Haha it was kinda crazy as well .
The the parody of how the world fools with ur feeling by inserting
An anime with a perfectly sad and cryable setup
That totally let's me let go my feeling with a good excuse for an escape
And yet I took no chances at abusing the tears.
On the outside it's a soap opera
Buy deep inside , it was really kinda a torture.

Wow... I have been typing nonstop for the past 30 min
Yet i haven't even stop.
Well things kinda grows a bit off the top when I tried to do some soul searching
So I went off outside .away from the crowd to do some soul searching .
Found out that things seems to fit in more and more sensibly .
It wasn't about trying to reject or avoiding
But the gate of the soul has already been opened
And it's not wat it seems at all.
Only did I found out I have again accidentally fell into a landmine
Where I fail to find out properly the background of someone...

This is really sick that I have self deceived myself into thinking that
They were just friends...
So I would definitely backout on this...
Not because I am scare but because it is t right of me to begin with...
So yea .wOnt be seeing me looking around for some time.
I need to recover from the shock I for wat has happened
And forget about everything that has happened
It shouldn't have existed ,shouldn't have even appeared at all...
Tml is another new day.the erasing start right after this blog.
There would be no more feeling .not even jealousy....

5:06 AM